While it is the general consensus that we’ve got it good here, and we love you (that’d be both cats and the dog — me, Lucy) there are a few things under review. In case you weren’t aware, yes we pets do meet together in solidarity. Here I am at our last business meeting, taking minutes.
We are bewildered. Periodically, it seems to upset you to no end to find mysterious, nasty, sometimes unidentifiable piles of “stuff” we leave behind the house and on our property. OK, so these piles range from bile, to vomit, to remnants of half-dead bugs, and at last, to about fifty shades of poop. Collectively, we all think this is pretty cool, but you do not. To that we say, shit happens, get over it.
Second item, regarding cleanliness and your endless quest to have us all groomed properly. We find your efforts really sweet and rather amusing. Really, you must have noticed the places where we lick ourselves. And our breath? All right, yes we all have exceptionally bad breath, but if it doesn’t phase us why does it bother you so? Probably best to just leave us be.
Lastly, and this item is just from me, Lucy the dog. I’ll pause here to again remind you of how incredibly cute I am.
To the question you always ask “Does Lucy want a cookie?” I say, don’t get me wrong, I love me some Milk bones. They are one fine snack treat!! But… as a maniacal (Parson) Jack Russell Terrier, my energy and anxiety level exhausts me, and so sometimes after a long day of being me, I would prefer that you consider asking me instead, “Does Lucy want a flame-broiled burger, medium rare?”
We hope you will give careful consideration to our suggestions and demands. But if not, well admittedly, it’s not like we could really do anything about it. We send you our appreciation and…
Much Love, HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY from the Pets
Happy Mother’s Day One and All, from Lucy’s Mom